After my children passed around Pink Eye to one another, tonight I got struck. Please, sir, can I have another. While I have blurry vision in one eye and feel it slowly crusting over, my hypochondriac husband decided that (obviously,) he has it too. When I rolled my one good eye at him after he told me he’s going to start using the community eye drops, he accused me of accusing him about lying about his symptoms. This is a man who, after returning from New York during the bed bug epidemic last year, stripped down naked before coming back into our house, right after he dumped out the contents of his suitcase outside. His germ phobia is unrelatable to me, as it’s the one strain of anxiety that I actually don’t have. Below, our new little Bobo Choses baby blanket, one of the many things which now has to be handled with tongs, dare I pass this shit back to the baby.